Cutscene 1 – Middle

The middle section of the story is the biggest part and I’m going to split it up into sections to make it easier to manage and edit. I will do this by combining some of the bullet points provided by Charlie together.

The sections will be as follows:

1)

  • She meets Otto, who takes her back to the cabin to warm up.

2)

  • Otto gets ready to leave and go look for her parents.
  • His sister Olga stops him, not wanting him to leave because of the storm, Vasilisa agrees with Olga but Otto leaves anyways.

3)

  • Hours pass and Otto is found by Olga frozen solid, she is devastated.

Section 1

version 1

Upon entering she found a man called Otto. This man had offered to take her to his nearby cabin to shield from the oncoming storm.

This was the original version I had come up with for the first opening. I feel its was to similar to Charlie’s bullet points and I wanted to give it my own twist with my style. Therefore i scraped this all together and began working on my own version, still using the same context but extending it more.

Version 1.1

As the oncoming storm got stronger, she struggled to see ahead of her. Suddenly she bumped into a tall, muscular man.

I much prefer this version. Its more my style and still keeps everything quite mysterious for now. Charlie thought that saying muscular was a little to sexual for a child’s fairy tale and so I will revise it and add more detail.

Version 1.2

The stormed battered her, unrelenting, making it difficult to see what lay ahead.

Suddenly she bumped into a huge, towering figure. It brandished an axe the size of a bear, and its shadow loomed over her like a vast mountain.

It knelt down, but to her surprise the gentle face of man greeted her.

Otto: “Tiny little girl, are you lost?”

Vasilisa: “N-no, I’m looking for my parents”

Otto: “That is true shame, this storm getting very strong now, we should head back to cabin to warm up.”

Vasilisa: “That would be lovely, thank you very much. My name is Vasilisa, what is yours?”

Otto: “Nice meeting you Vasilisa, Mine is Otto”

As I have been struggling with writers block I asked charlie to help me out and we revised what I had already written. He said we should flesh it out as much as possible and then cut it back from there as it would make it easier. As we both worked on it, its no longer in my preferred style and I will now go back over it and revise it. The part I love the most is the dialogue. We wanted Otto to speak with a very heavy Russian accent and I think we managed to convey it really well.

version 1.3

The storm was brutal, unrelenting, making it difficult for her to see what lay ahead.

Suddenly she bumped into a towering figure. It brandished an huge axe and its shadow loomed over her.

It knelt to reveal a gentle face of man who greeted her.

Otto: “Tiny little girl, are you lost?”

Vasilisa: “N-no, I’m looking for my parents”

Otto: “That is true shame, this storm getting very strong now, we should head back to cabin to warm up.”

Vasilisa: “That would be lovely, thank you very much. My name is Vasilisa, what is yours?”

Otto: “Nice meeting you Vasilisa, Mine is Otto”

Section 2

version 1

They arrived at a wooden cabin, hidden deep within the forest. Upon entering a woman was stood with her arms crossed glaring at Vasilisa.

Olga: “Who is this.”

Otto: “This is Vasilisa, she was lost and this storm is horrendous.”

Olga: “So? This is not our problem. I don’t want strangers here.”

Otto: “Please sister, she is only young and she has lost parents, she is alone.”

Olga: “Fine but once this storm has passed take her back to wherever you found her.”

Otto: “If that’s what you want.”

Otto led Vasilisa to an armchair beside the fire and gave her a hot beverage. He walked back over to Olga.

Otto: “I am going to look for parents whilst its still light, look after her and please, be nice.”

Olga: “WHAT?! You cannot go out there, you said yourself the storm is too harsh.”

Vasilisa: “I… I agree, it’s far too dangerous to travel.”

Otto: “no puny storm scares me, I am going, I will be back soon.”

Olga: “whatever. You better be back before dark.”

Olga walked away and Otto left.

The daylight was starting to fade, the storm had calmed and Otto had not returned.

I like the interactions between Otto and Olga as I feel like it convey’s their personalities quite well, however I feel Vasilisa’s input is a little out of place and I think it would almost flow better without her speaking as it doesnt really suit her personality or the scene.

version 1.1

They arrived at a wooden cabin, hidden deep within the forest. Upon entering a woman was stood with her arms crossed glaring at Vasilisa.

Olga: “Who is this.”

Otto: “This is Vasilisa, she was lost and this storm is horrendous.”

Olga: “So? This is not our problem. I don’t want strangers here.”

Otto: “Please sister, she is only young and she has lost parents, she is alone.”

Olga: “Fine but once this storm has passed take her back to wherever you found her.”

Otto: “If that’s what you want.”

Otto led Vasilisa to an armchair beside the fire and gave her a hot beverage. He walked back over to Olga.

Otto: “I am going to look for parents whilst its still light, look after her and please, be nice.”

Olga: “WHAT?! You cannot go out there, you said yourself the storm is too harsh.”

Otto: “no puny storm scares me, I am going, I will be back soon.”

Olga: “whatever. You better be back before dark.”

Olga walked away and Otto left.

The daylight was starting to fade, the storm had calmed and Otto had not returned.

Without Vasilisa’s Dialogue the flow is much better. I find the most important part of this scene is the interaction between characters and although I could expand on environmental and background exposition, I do not feel it is necessary and I’m very happy with this being the final draft.

Section 3

version 1

Olga: “This isn’t good, it’s going to be dark soon.”

Vasilisa looked up at her but Olga was more talking to herself rather than Vasilisa.

Olga caught Vasilisa staring and glared.

Olga: “I’m going to go look for him, do not leave this cabin.”

Olga grabbed her axe and coat, looked over at Vasilisa one more time and slammed the door.

She searched and searched but the recent snowfall had covered all evidence of where he walked and the only fresh tracks were her own.

Suddenly she was blinded by something shining in an open area of the forest. She approached slowly and once she realised what it was she collapsed to her knees as tears fell down her cheeks.

It was Otto, He had been encased in ice, Frozen like a statue.

This is my first attempt at Olga finding Otto frozen and I’m not really sure that i like it that much, the wording doesn’t really make sense and I think the events aren’t timed well. I couldn’t work out how to end it so I decided I’m going to try again.

version 1.1

Olga: “This isn’t good, it’s going to be dark soon.”

Olga looked over to Vasilisa and thought about what she should do. Vasilisa would only be a hindrance if she took her with her and she didn’t trust her enough to leave her by herself. But finding Otto was her number one priority and for now she would trust her brothers opinion of the girl.

Olga: “I’m going to go look for him, do not leave this cabin.”

Olga grabbed her axe and coat and left the cabin.

She searched the forest as quickly as she could. The night was fast approaching and this forest turns into a maze in darkness.

Suddenly her eyes went wide, tears immediately fell from her cheeks and she dropped to her knees.

The scene in-front of her had devastated her. Otto had been frozen solid; his axe lay broken on the floor beside him.

Olga: “w..why? What… what happened… How could this happen. He was my big brother, he was meant to look after me forever, we were supposed to face the future together… and now? Now I’m alone…”

Olga punched the ground, she was as angry as she was sad.

Olga: “I bet it’s something to do with her… I don’t trust her at all. I need to get rid of her as soon as I can… there’s an orphanage in town, I’ll take her there then she’s their problem not mine and I can seek revenge for my brother, find what… who did this to him… I’ll make them pay.”

The door swung open and Vasilisa jumped at the sound.

Vasilisa: “Did… did you find him?”

Olga: “…no…no I didn’t.”

Vasilisa: “Oh… I’m sorry, I’m sure he’ll return soon.”

Olga: “We’re leaving as soon as we can, get some sleep and make sure you’re ready to leave as soon as dawn comes.”

Vasilisa: “But…”

Olga: “Sleep. Now.”

Morning soon approached and the girls left the cabin, ready to face the journey ahead…

I’m really happy with this version, its much more in-depth and adds raw emotion and makes the player follow Olga’s emotional journey whilst still leaving questions unanswered. The interaction between Olga and Vasilisa is much more establishing.

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